I Heart Roger Clark

I will never, ever go out of town again. According to one kind IHRC reader, Roger, who can now add Judge of the Vendy Awards to his illustrious resume, was the subject of Monday's report and not the reporter meaning that he undoubtedly took his judging responsibilities a little too seriously on Sunday and was laid up with what I like to call "the cart runs;" a distinctly New York phenomenon involving your stomach and an atomic bomb. Clearly Clark learned nothing from the hot dog disaster this Summer.

Apparently, ol' reliable Dean Meminger was called in to sub for Rog on the mind-bending topic of whether Throgs Neck is spelled with one G or two. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that stoner topics such as this are not Meminger's forte. This guy did not spend any portion of his life wearing a beer helmet or sporting school colors painted on his chest, ergo he is not the dude for this gig. Bring in Debbie Duhaim, "the voice of traffic," for this one. Poor Dean must have thought that someone had switched his notecards. Next thing you know, someone's going to start sticking notes to the back of his suit. Seriously, give Dean the hard-hitting news stories and if there isn't anything on the board, make something up. Or have Clark phone in the Throgs Neck story from the can.

Maybe I'm glad I missed Monday. It sounds too painful.